Well, now it’s definite.

Amazon currently has free shipping on all Super Soakers, making Spring’s arrival official.
We weren’t too sure for a little while about just which season this was. I seem to remember a few warmer days and a slightly different hue to my forearms in the weeks past, but that seems like a distant dream now. One I can’t quite recall through a grey haze of shitty New England mist. We have nothing to go by but the calendar as far as the season goes… and the calendar’s got it out for all of us.

Enter Amazon to set it all straight.
Most Super Soakers are roundabout the $10 mark, but if you have any pride at all, you’ll be spending a few extra bucks on the ESS Turbine Super Soaker. It has blinking lights.

In all honesty, it really looks like the Hasbro Super Soakers are real pieces of crap nowadays. I read some reviews and people are pissed. People who take Super Soakers very seriously. They’re ugly, anyways. Dead ugly. Basketball shoe ugly.

UPDATE: I guess I spelled the word ‘definite’ wrong in the title of this blog. My mother was kind enough to let me know. I promptly righted my wrong only to be met with a wave of guilt. It’s not honest of me to just go around edited my words after they’ve left my IP. So I added this update. I hope my mother’s proud of me.