Mark Laramee used to keep a blog. He doesn't anymore, so I have to share this with the world on his behalf:

-ecenter@verizon.com wrote:

>> Thank you for contacting the Verizon eCenter. My
>> name is Michael, and I will be glad to handle your
>> request today.
>>
>> This message is in response to your email dated ____
>> . You inquired about ________ . I would be happy
>> to assist you with that. While I'm taking care of
>> your request, I'll review your account to see how I
>> can optimize your service.
>>
>>
>> Thank you for using Verizon. We appreciate your
>> business.
>>
>> Sincerely,
>> Michael
>> Verizon eCenter

-Mark Laramee replied:

Thanks for taking time to reply Michael.

I'm looking forward to ______. And I'm hoping you
will also be able to _______. I'm not sure what
optimizing is, but I'm sure it will _______ my
_______.

Thanks again, and as always ________.